I'm not a Businessman, I'm a business, man.

The Nike Basketball website is truly supreme. Check it out I've posted one of the Lebrons'vids here, as well as a "behind the scenes" interview with Business Lebron.
Awesome to see someone who is indeed the chosen one being that funny. The whole website is outstanding, especially the 25 years of force section, with the round mound of rebound, Sir Charles featuring.

The LeBrons Season 2: Swimming Pool


Even the tunes in this are fat.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game

Business LeBron Interview IV

A couple of classic DO & DON'T from the ever entertaining folks at VICE


DON'T: She's smuggling a giant smurfs head into Mexico.



DO: He looks like a lobbyist for hash.

Last minute stocking stuffer?

Just in time for Christmas, it's the gift that keeps on giving. Donnie Wahlberg aside, JT is definately my favouite boy bander does good story. Can't wait for the Easter version.

Stopmotion Commotion

Tony vs. Paul


Can't begin to imagine how much time went into making this, very cool on a nerdtastic fly tip.

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken

There isn't much I would change about when Mrs Carthology married me in the LOVE tent earlier this year. However looking back, when will I ever have had a better opportunity to pose Mastermind style. Suit on, girl in a white dress and a photographer in attendance, an opportunity wasted.

I've always been a massive fan of the original Mastermind boxcover, with (who I imagined to be) Colonel Sanders dodgy brother, the one kicked out of the chicken business due to some "interpretive" accounting to cover massive gambling debts. Left to roam the seedy underbelly of the boardgame tour, using guile and a glare to psyche out opponents and attempt to win his way back to civilised society.

And who is the disgraced Colonels' attractive cohort. The somewhat bored expression gives little away. Maybe a backer? Keeping an eye on the money,a bodyguard, or maybe just there for the evening. We'll have to wait for the movie.




This adds a fairly frightening aspect to the whole game, with a seemingly drunk Colonel appearing to join in the family fun, playing off each other for the kids pocket money



This, however ,shows how due a "mix up with visas" the Colonel was unable to appear on the French version, instead replaced by catalogue man. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Stand by, more of the big questions answered next week.

Forget Gurus, I got your leader right here

Mrs Carthology and myself came across this gem a while ago on Family Guy, a show that really has grown on me the last couple of years. Check it here

However it was only recently I found the inspiration for the homage. The footage below has now become not just about my favourite piece of grainy video tape (b grade celeb home movies aside) but an inspiration for how to live ones life. Make sure you make it through to the end to see the 3 stages of Shatner.



Pre Flight.




Bill Shatner

Just like when ham met cheese

Muppets With Attitudes


Many thanks to the Hammonator via the axemanfor giving me the heads up on this awesome collaboration. I've seen transformers do Pavement tracks but the muppets and NWA was exactly what the world needs now. Just check the Gonzo/MC Ren bit in the second vid, it is a role he was born to play.

Just for kicks I've included the purple "biggie" covering traditional rival 2 Pac.
Where will this all end?..and how far away can the Teletubbies v's Fat Boys "jelly roll" clip be.

The Muppets do Gangsta Rap

barney 2 pac

Some friends of ours

The current (and by all accounts last ) series of the Sopranos is a 'kin must see. Channel 9 are screening it in the high profile spot of midnight Mondays, guaranteeing a massive audience. Hey, at least you can see a truly amazing array of phone "chat" ads.

I remember first seeing James Gandolfini in True Romance, beating the bejesus out of Patricia Arquette (well before she got psychic and would have been able to avoid the whole ugly incident). His Tony Soprano has got to be just about the best lead character in a drama ever. Now I know this sounds like hyperbole, but even the only guy that could give him a run for his money, Dr Terrence of A Country Practice, would lower the stethoscope for Tony.

Enjoy, and have a canoli for me.

The Carnival is Over

Took this photo on the weekend. Your mushroom heater, mainstay of outside dining everywhere gets quite a look when tired.
This one reminds me of a trio at the races. Late in the day, with many a champers downed. Sure the daily double didn't pay, and the hats may have blown off more than once, but still hanging on to that touch of glamnour.

Anyway, back to burnouts, sneakers and bad videos tomorrow!

Tiffs Tricks are Tops

Jurassic4Life

Spent a sun filled afternoon at Mt Tomah Botanic gardens on the weekend with Mrs Carthology.
It really does tick all the boxes: Fast (semi) copper free twisty roads to get there, quality luncheon opportunities and mackin' plants. Part of ourt visit was to show solidarity to those dinosaur brothers behind bars as shown above. It is now over 6 years since they have been caged heat.
The colour changes and the now 5m plus size of these Wollemi wonders is super impressive. They have been planted on the Gondwana walk, which is very well done and gives you that cool climate feel. Check it out, if even just to snigger at the bog garden.

Jordan XXI

Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character?

I have blatantly stole this list from www.mcsweeneys.net Came across it on the ever fabulous and entertaining Caz in Sweden adventure. I'm not sure if it's completly accurate, thought I remembered swearing viciously once whilst battling to put together a bedside Boromir.


Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character?
BY CALEY FELDMAN
- - - -
1. Faramir
2. Freden
3. Grundtal
4. Boromir
5. Molger
6. Galdor
7. Freda
8. Agerum
9. Babord
10. Frodo
11. Grima
12. Akurum
13. Brunkrissla
14. Sultan Högbo
15. Deagol
16. Grimbold


Lord of the Rings characters: 1, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 15, 16.Ikea products: 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14.

Le tour de Dubbo

Congratulations to all who completed the Zoo to Zoo ride last weekend. A gruelling journey from Taronga in Sydney to Dubbo. Much respect for anyone who is willing to don the lycra, and head over the mountains Blaxland, Wentworth and Lawson (now a prominent slip and fall law firm) style. A special shout out to Arabella who smashed the womens division, and also to Baron Von Wang who was indeed in a class of his own. I've been told over $10k was raised, 'kin awesome.
They even got to meet quirky* channel 10 weatherman Tim Bailey. Photos by Carthology and the Hammonator. The Baron appears for Stainmaster Carpets.

*insert your own description here

Speechless

Zuiikin English : Sankakukin Trouble


Many thanks to Count Doyle for todays touch of bizarroland. You know that this is destined to become a House dancefloor filler "I was robbed by 2 Men" this summer. By the time it gets to the Jamster mobile club as a ring tone you'll be just about ready to go Postal. Enjoy, and take what you want.

Carruthers Brothers

Daniel Sterling and Matt Emig - Team Form


You know that these dudes have been pulling this schtick in bad nightclubs across the world. This kind of tag team action hasn't been seen since the days of Rad (see July achive). Awesome.

8 is enough

The top , in no particular order, variants of carth@XXXX.com.au that have made it through to my junk email box recently.

caroltate@
carpet@
cartref@
carpend@
carteg@
cartman@
carpets@

and my personal favourite
carports@

As much as i enjoy receiving endless offers of increased wages/credit/c#ck, the highlight is always when something is titled: Hey Carports! want to increase your size 2 to 6 inches.

When you think about it, in c#ck size it's a big deal, but for the average carport, wacking on a couple of extra inches is not going to impress many.

BAPE shall not kill BAPE

This is what happens when kids just love forking over wads of yen/dollars/pounds/euros/junk bonds etc for your hoodies and kicks.

Massive respect to anyone who is willing to go down the "i will have a garage in the living room" road. Found this video( i think it is BBC corrspondant Jonathon Ross?) at Fatlaces.

For those called Peter Brock (CANNON), We salute you.

I love turbo

Had a crackin' day down at Wakefield Park race track with Chopalot and the Hammonator recently. If you have a need for speed, and homoerotic Tom Cruise journeys are not your bag, this circuit comes highly recommended. Over the last few years I've been lucky enough to partake in several days here and have 'kin enjoyed myself immensely in all manner of vehicles.

This time took the fairly box fresh MPS 3 which performed admirably. Milk and juice may only come in 2 litres for the V8 lover, however the 190kw and more importantly the 380 newton metres of torque certainly brought home the bacon. Just over a tonne of fun.

As always the Hammonator Mx5 was fast and smooth (just like Troy Corser), and Chopalots Millennium Falconesque Familia GTR was its' normal "Go balls out Cru" lightning fast. 3 Mazdas, all turbo, all completely different to drive and all home without breaking anything!

Wait for the movie, Fast and the Furious 4: Hot Goulburn Nights

Check out the circuit at www.wakefieldpark.com.au

Guess the video game theme

If you owned a gameboy, or rode public transport, this Russian folk tune will be burned into your brain. Props to my cousin Gus, who was unquestionably the master of block arrangement.

Random Ad goodness

check out the Nike "chalk" ad through:
www.footlocker.com.au

For those who like their M.C. Escher rad.

Opals mine gold.

Congaratulations to the mighty world champion Opals. On behalf of The fish that saved Pittsburgh* (*not his real name) a massive we will rock you chorus to our superstars.
The D-fence was awesome and the Opals offence glittered. Great to see Taylor, P getting her dues with well deserved tourney MVP. Bring on Beijing.

Here at carthology we break the big stories, see below for the tracks that fire up the players before a big game, thanks to the Tully diary.

Loz What You Know T.I
Laura Halftime Ying Yang Twins
Snelly From The Sea Eskimo Joe
Erin Crazy Gnarles Barkley
Penny One Step Closer Lincoln Park
Shrimpy Saving Me Nickleback
Macca Promiscuous Girl Nelly Furtado
Hollie Get Low Little John
Screeny I'm Bossy Kelis
Randy Sexy Back Justin Timberlake
Harley Yeah Yeah Usher
TT You Shook Me All Night Long AC/DC

photos courtesy of Dr J via FIBA.

Well, that's Christmas sorted...

Apologies for the poor quality photo, but as you can imagine, I had to be quick to even get the shot as these beauties are flying off the shelves. I can see the trash talk from here: "you might have some signature PONY sneaks Gaze, but wheres ya hat rack fool". I wonder how much he scored for this endorsement, or if was just a case of getting to keep the hats. Run, don't walk to Howards Storage World for all your fat hat stackin' needs. Wonder if there is a Mark II to suit those obnoxious New Era flat brim numbers?

Wa Wa Nee

Save Wa Wa from the cannibals has got to be the best current affairs beat up/stink of the year.
Almost like the whole saga was concocted to fill an episode of Media Watch. I though it was timely to remind ourselves of some of Naomis' greatest hits. ORSM via Youtube.

Mystery Theatre.

Took these photos in Surry Hills a couple of weeks back. What has happened here? Is there anything sadder than a single shoe?
At first I thought it was a case of break in that created this motley assortment. But who would steal a half rooted fan? I think it is a case of break up, with prized possessions kicked to the kerb, this lot left behind through a ute too full or a bag packed to the gunnels.

Mazdaspeed 3 Wild Child Awesome Adventures Trailer

Got to love when you don't need to kowtow to heavy handed TV broadcast regulations. I'm going out for some FWD bum dragging burnouts in mine right now! Thanks to fellow reckless driving fan the Hammonator for the vid.

Brand Recognition

Got an invite to the new Coop exhibition at www.sixspace.com
unfortunately due to having to work last weekend, and the Pacific ocean, was unable to attend. As always his stuff is mackin' , and when we met him last year found out he was not only a super artist, but a super dude as well.


These photos (Copyright of Coop)
show him, Mrs Coop (costumed for the event), and Caryn from sixspace. Another highlight missed by not attending was the opportunity to have met Mr & Mrs Yankovic. (of the "have a banana , have a whole bunch" Weird Al variety). Some of the works are still for sale and definately worth your attention.

Art Frenzy

Bought these 3 pieces by Sydney artist Ben Frost last week www.benfrostisdead.com.
Had a day off during the week and went on a gallery tour in the city. Checked out Max Linegar
at the www.dickersongallery.com.au on Queen St which was very cool in a LA Confidential/Sin City noir way where it always looks like rain as well as a couple of other random exhibitions.

Carnage aside, i'd frickin' love one.

Constructor: Star Race Cars, 10639 Glenoaks Blvd, Pacoima, CA 91331 (818) 686-3350
Chassis: Carbon fiber composite built to FIA standards with 19 U.S. gallon fuel cell
Engine: 240 HP Mazda “Renesis” rotary engine with encrypted ECU including rev limiter, pit speed limiter, traction control, fuel trim.
Transaxle: Six-speed sequential with no lift shift
Suspension: Pushrod, inboard with two-way adjustable shock absorbers, adjustable rear sway bar, cockpit adjustable front sway bar. Front suspension tethered.
Cockpit safety: FIA headrest/side head restraint, compatible with HANS device.
Dimensions: Front track 61.5”, rear track 58.5”, wheelbase 100.5” and weight 1090 lbs.
Brakes: Cockpit adjustable bias, 4-pot alloy calipers, vented, floating steel discs.
Wheels: Front 9”w x 13”d, rear 11’w x 13”d, Forged aluminum, center lock
Features: Adjustable shocks, sway bars, brake bias and wing angles
Optional (Subject to testing and rules review): Data acquisition, traction control defeat, fuel trim control on steering wheel, pixel screen display


.

.

Star Mazda Crash in-car

Star Mazda - 2006 Montreal Crash Accident

'68 Charger

Just because. I think when you're tired of quality tyre frying burnouts on public roads you're tired of life.

Mystery Aussie Smuggler spied in Carribean

Carthology presents exclusive shots of what appears to be some kind of eggman trying his best to broker a deal for some Australian fauna in the glamourous Carribean. Please pass on any information if you know the identity of this "Pants pirate" as here at Carthology, as well as our good friends at PETA and the WWF are trying to end the horror that is budgie smuggling.

Feel free to leave any information in the comments section. Sometimes it feels like a David Vs Goliath battle bringing these suave criminals to justice, but together we can do it.

Clerks II: NERDFEST 37

Last night along with Mrs Carthology and Sista Nic I attended the Popcorn taxi Clerks 2 premiere with Big Kev (US version) introducing the film.
As a diehard tubby one fan, one who even forgave the schlockfest that was Jersey Girl, I was a touch apprehensive.

My co-attendees were less worried about the film but were very much enjoying themselves with some quality people watching. The people you see lining up for a Kevin Smith premiere represent a true United Nations of Geekdom . I am positive you could have answered any trivia question in the world within the collective consciousness there as long as the question involved Television/Science Fiction/Comics/ Toys and televised science fiction comics about toys.


The State Theatre (the ideal locale for the next Jay Z clip with red velvet and more gold than an Aztec) was surprisingly sold out. There was even a red carpet with attendant papparazzi. Found myself wondering who the big stars would be: Alex Papps? Millsy? The blokes from the Curiosity Show? None the less, an excited feeling prevailed.

I enjoyed the movie immensely, I think it helped being with an audience that was well versed in the world of Leonardo, NJ. Crude, vulgar, sexist with plenty of foul language, pretty much ticked all the boxes for me. Like all of his movies post Clerks, there was undeniably a mawkish cheese factor however if you are looking for "quality drama" you'd be elsewhere anyway. I've always been a sucker for the genre of Where are they now? Ala Schools Out!/Degrassi Next Generation/Facts of Life Reunion movie and I think Kevin is equally so.

Without going into a thousand spoilers (the proposed titles Still Clerkin' & Passion of the Clerks will give a pretty good idea), Randal still has all the good lines, Dante still can't act and the movie centres around growing up.

This is best shown when Randal is involved in a longwinded (how 'bout that) argument that there is only one return, and is of the Jedi and not the King. Seeing his beloved trilogy usurped by a series of movies about walking "even the trees" by a new generation does not sit well. I think this particular dialogue (especially as it involves the small dude with the big head from Alias) is up there with NERDALERT the discussion of whether independent contractors employed in the construction of the second death star where innocent victims of of left wing terrorists or indeed made their bed when taking on the job, from the original movie.

Mr Smith himself looked nothing like the character played by Brad Pitt recently. He wore the ubiquitous trenchcoat, shorts and vans, looking every bit the tubby bitch he professes to be.
We didn't stay around for the Q & A session post film, by this stage the ladies' attention and needs were focused on Portuguese chicken products. I had a nagging case of impending doom with the Q & A, visualising questions asked in the key of Comic Book Guy. "worst sequel.....ever"
On introducing the film Kevin seemed to be generally stoked that Australia was indeed down with the View Askew universe, and throughout the screening many a genuine guffaw and even the odd uncontrolled snort could be found. Sure, it was no Happy Scrappy Hero Pup, but then again, what is.
Rating:
Long term Kevin Smith fans: ****
Date movie: ***
Hillsong Youth Group looking for uplifting good clean fun: *1/2

Ernie & Denise

I came across an ad for this concert (also luckily available on CD from ESSGEE records) in the SMH yesterday. Please know I 'm not here to rubbish Julie. As all correct thinking Australians know, if it's an important event Anthony, J is an automatic selection for anthem duties. World Cups, Olympics, Commonwealth Bank Cup Netball minor semis, Group 10 rugby League pre season tourneys and school swimming carnivals have all felt the magic Julie touch. If you are unfamiliar with Julies great work on stage as well as a Gra Gra /Bert duo with a large green dragon, check it out. When it comes to National anthems she is basically like Mike in a # 23 Bulls singlet. Give her the ball and get the f&#k out of the way.

Simon Gallaher has also done his part. This countries ability to stage a quality production of Pirates of Penzance, and many other G&S favourites , is inextricably linked to having Simon on board. Personally, I enjoy musicals to the same degree as student protest street performance art, but hey, whatever floats your SS Pinafore.

What struck me was the title. "Together at last". Is this really an event we have been panting to see. Has it taken a special envoy, prime ministerial influence or changes to ACCC policy to make it happen? Have we had to engage the services of Jordanian trucking companies, grease the wheels of Swiss banking cartels and branch stack whaling commissions to get this event to the stage?

If you have tickets, enjoy. I'm now scanning the pages to see what can top it. Maybe Jackie Love & Ian Turpie or Rhonda Burchmore & John Blackman are just waiting in the wings to see if it is their time to come together and dive into the seemingly neverending bucket of baby boomer disposable cash.

Banksy.

If you value a fulfilling life grab a copy of WALL & PIECE, the bright and shiny brand new "coffee table" book from BANKSY. His exploits are legendary, especially the self installation of his work at places like the Tate and Brooklyn Museum. I am such a fanboy of his work.

Most of these come from www.banksy.co.uk, there is stuff of his everywhere. Check out the series by Perry Farrell on Youtube in which he talks about Banksy with Mr OBEY Shepard Fairey. http://www.youtube.com/user/lollalives

OK go- Here it goes again.

Thanks to the fish that saved Pittsburgh(tm) for this video, almost makes you want explore the much underappreciated art of treadmillery. Who knew that fitness first was really a giant performance art space. The cool calm spangly suit hands behind skating style is genius.

It got me thinking, what would Brian Boitano do.
Well as it turns out, this:

This piece of "taa-daa" comes from Harlick Skating Boots, a great company that by all accounts is the premier supplier of quality skating footwear. I love this photo. Poise, Performance, Pants.

64 slices of American cheese

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